you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
