Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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