my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I skipped work to stalk him.
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She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
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I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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