shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
