Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
