I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
