I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
there is glitter all over my balls
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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