I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
