Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
