Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Randomize
