Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
