I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Bring me that man meat
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize