There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I wear drunk well.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
