he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
