I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
