it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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