they need to just BURY HIM!
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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