hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize