Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
