Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
That accounts for only three of the penises
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
