we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
