Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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