This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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