I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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