my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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