those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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