never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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