Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
