It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
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