It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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