Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
