Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
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Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
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WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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