well you can't waste a boner
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
