dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
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