How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize