I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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