Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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