I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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