i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
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At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
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I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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