Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
