We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
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