You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Randomize
