Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
