one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
