The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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