my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
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