I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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