And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
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Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
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In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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