Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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