i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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