We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
