Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
