I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
