This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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