Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Hippo gnu deer
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
