I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
