when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
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