Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
