I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
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you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
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I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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