We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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